Friday, December 25, 2015

So This Is Christmas

I have to be honest, this Christmas is the hardest for me so far, probably because it's at the conclusion of my hardest year so far. It's the first Christmas I've spent away from my family. As much as I LOVE Christmas, I've been both anticipating it this year and dreading it hoping it will be over in a flash. Last week I sobbed tears knowing that this year we won't have a tree, presents or family. I've kind of tried to avoid the question, "What are you guys doing for Christmas?" because the truth is we didn't have any plans. 
It's been a hard year and a rough season but I was encouraged when I talked to an older woman in my church who told me it would be her first Christmas without her family too. In a strange way, I was encouraged to know that it wasn't just me - I'm not alone as I struggle. I realized too with the mini Christmas series my pastor has been preaching that even Christmas, as much as I want it to be, is not about me. As difficult as it has been to not have a tree and participate in my family's traditions I have learned to appreciate what I have like never before and I've experienced growth in contentment like never before. 
When I think about what Christ has done for me, coming to live amongst sinners so that He could be the perfect sacrifice for my sins and make me right before God, that is enough. 
But He didn't stop there. He has also faithfully changed my heart, He has never left me or forsaken me, He has given me His Holy Spirit to help me and comfort me, He has made His power perfect through my weakness. 
But He didn't stop there. He's also provided me with a husband. For years all I wanted for Christmas was a husband. This morning I was SO blessed and humbled to wake up next to my sweet husband who had a big smile on his face and said, "Merry Christmas Lovey!" Followed by, "I'm going to make you breakfast!" And, "Remember we've already received the greatest gift we've ever received and its Jesus, God gave us Jesus." 
I'm one really spoiled girl, but God still didn't stop there. This year I'm not only married but pregnant with our baby girl. My husband received a promotion and raise at work a few weeks ago and we also bought a new (to us) car. We have food in our kitchen, our bills are paid and we even were blessed to received gift cards from my in laws and money from my parents as our Christmas presents. 
I've realized that not having all the traditions, decorations and presents has made Christmas hard but it's also made it better because it has caused me to fix my eyes on Christ and eternity like never before. 
Jesus didn't have a Christmas tree. He didn't drive around and look at lights with His family. What He did have though, He gave up for me to make me His own. It cost Him everything.
This year has been the hardest year of my life but it's also been the best because I have learned that despite my circumstances and my feelings, 
“The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.”
‭‭ Psalm‬ ‭16:5-6‬ ‭

Merry Christmas y'all! 


Post a Comment