Sunday, April 29, 2012

Story Time With Lolo

  Once upon a time there was a blonde haired, 5' 5 &1/2" twenty three year old young lady that still lived at home. She was very tired from working her job as a school secretary and seeing that it 9:00 and much past her bedtime, she decided to go to sleep. It was supposed to rain that day, but since she lived in a place where the whether was more moody than the teenagers she worked with, it had not rained after all. As she drifted off to sleep one of the last thoughts she had that night was, "I like falling asleep to the sound of rain..." You see, since it had not rained, she used her deductive reasoning skills gained from hours of study in her Sophomore year logic class and came to the conclusion that since the rain had delayed for so long, it would have to start while she was sleeping. She was right, but most definitely not in the way she had imagined. At approximately 4:30 the following morning she awakened startled by what she thought was the Lord's return. She was deeply asleep when she heard "BAM! BAM!" These were the loudest noises she had ever heard in all her years here on earth. Her eyelids shot open and she laid very still, expecting her body to be raptured at any moment. After an eternity of waiting for about two seconds, I . . . oops I mean, she did what any other post college twenty-three year old adult would do: She ran. That's right ladies and gentlemen . . . she bolted out of her bed and ran the entire ten feet to: Her mom's room. She knocked and when she did not receive an answer, she tried turning the door knob while assuming that her mother must not be answering because she had already been raptured. 

She desperately called out, "Mom? What's going on?" Her mother opened the door and said, "It's just thunder." She started crying and threw herself on her mother's bed and said, "I thought the Lord was coming back!" To which her mother replied, "Well He is" (there's always one ladies and gentlemen...). "I didn't know what was going on, I thought we were getting bombed or there was a shootout in the street!!!" She wearily climbed into her mother's bed and attempted to sleep for the next thirty minutes knowing that her alarm would be going off then and it would be time to face the day. She ended up drinking two cups of coffee that morning and still faced a caffeine deficiency because as No-Doz reminds us, "Caffeine is not a substitute for sleep." As she went to sleep that night she prayed and asked the Lord to please hold off on the thunder since her parents weren't home. She now had a new appreciation for her current circumstances that included living at home because she knew if she were out on her own during such a storm, a cat would not make a comforting companion. And she slept happily ever after.
The End


P.S. This may or may not be based on a true story. . .