Today as I had my annual evaluation at The Prep, more grace was bestowed on me than I ever could have imagined. The kind words that my boss had to offer about me almost made me cry (I was crying on the inside. . . if you're a girl you get it, if you're a guy. . . just go with it). The fact that someone was able to see characteristics in me that are really characteristics of the Holy Spirit, revealed to me that Christ is alive and at work in me! I was not the least bit nervous about meeting with my boss. I did start to get a little nervous though when she asked me where I saw myself in 3-5 years. You see, I have been taking steps (very slow baby steps) to become a teacher. Since I work at a school and the economy is tough, I have not really been announcing this. I know that my boss really wanted me to work for her this year and I was afraid of how she might feel if I were to be honest about my decision to teach, since it would mean that if I were to do so, I would not be working directly for her anymore. However as it is often said, honesty is the best policy. I told her that in June I will be taking one of the first tests that is required to become a teacher. She is excited for me and said they (meaning administration at The Prep) will have to work with me and help me move in that direction. She even suggested that I could become an administrator myself after teaching for a few years. I had played with the thought before, but never really considered it a possibility. It is so refreshing to have peace in my decisions career wise and to know that I am well supported by family and friends. I wrestled for a while because I am a control freak and I want to know that my decisions will work out perfectly. Unfortunately, that is not life.Things never seem to turn out the way I plan or expect. Knowing this leaves me with the fear that I may be disappointed. Through this mini "trial" my faith in Christ has grown a little more. I have learned that when my hope is set on Him there is no room for disappointment. He has lovingly adopted me as His daughter and wants me to depend on Him fully. This truly means that I can lay my desires and requests before Him. I may not receive the things I ask for in the timing that I desire, but He is faithful and will provide me with what I need. Ultimately I was created to glorify Him and since this battle helped me to rely on Him more, in order to become more like Him, it was completely and utterly worth it.
It is so exciting to see the Lord doing wonderful things in my life and reassuring to know that His faithfulness is indeed forever.
Love,
Lolo
