So This Is Christmas

I have to be honest, this Christmas is the hardest for me so far, probably because it's at the conclusion of my hardest year so far. It's the first Christmas I've spent away from my family. As much as I LOVE Christmas, I've been both anticipating it this year and dreading it hoping it will be over in a flash. Last week I sobbed tears knowing that this year we won't have a tree, presents or family. I've kind of tried to avoid the question, "What are you guys doing for Christmas?" because the truth is we didn't have any plans. 

It's been a hard year and a rough season but I was encouraged when I talked to an older woman in my church who told me it would be her first Christmas without her family too. In a strange way, I was encouraged to know that it wasn't just me - I'm not alone as I struggle. I realized too with the mini Christmas series my pastor has been preaching that even Christmas, as much as I want it to be, is not about me. As difficult as it has been to not have a tree and participate in my family's traditions I have learned to appreciate what I have like never before and I've experienced growth in contentment like never before. 

When I think about what Christ has done for me, coming to live amongst sinners so that He could be the perfect sacrifice for my sins and make me right before God, that is enough. 

But He didn't stop there. He has also faithfully changed my heart, He has never left me or forsaken me, He has given me His Holy Spirit to help me and comfort me, He has made His power perfect through my weakness. 

But He didn't stop there. He's also provided me with a husband. For years all I wanted for Christmas was a husband. This morning I was SO blessed and humbled to wake up next to my sweet husband who had a big smile on his face and said, "Merry Christmas Lovey!" Followed by, "I'm going to make you breakfast!" And, "Remember we've already received the greatest gift we've ever received and its Jesus, God gave us Jesus." 

I'm one really spoiled girl, but God still didn't stop there. This year I'm not only married but pregnant with our baby girl. My husband received a promotion and raise at work a few weeks ago and we also bought a new (to us) car. We have food in our kitchen, our bills are paid and we even were blessed to received gift cards from my in laws and money from my parents as our Christmas presents. 

I've realized that not having all the traditions, decorations and presents has made Christmas hard but it's also made it better because it has caused me to fix my eyes on Christ and eternity like never before. 

Jesus didn't have a Christmas tree. He didn't drive around and look at lights with His family. What He did have though, He gave up for me to make me His own. It cost Him everything.

This year has been the hardest year of my life but it's also been the best because I have learned that despite my circumstances and my feelings, 

“The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.”

‭‭ Psalm‬ ‭16:5-6‬ ‭

Merry Christmas y'all! 

Sacramento

I was lucky enough to travel to the City of Trees on Wednesday for my 2nd business trip. There's nothing like waking up and leaving for work before Starbucks is open. I wasn't as nervous to fly this time around as I have been reading Trusting God by Jerry Bridges and it has been a great encouragement to my soul. Throughout the flight I was tempted to fear but I had to remember that ultimately God sustains everything and it is under His sovereign control. 

Who am I that He should make more like Himself by allowing me to encounter circumstances that leave me in total reliance upon Him . . .

Leaving San Diego

"Nothing is so small or trivial as to escape the attention of God's sovereign control; nothing is so great as to be beyond His power to control it. The insignificant sparrow cannot fall to the ground withoutHis will; the mighty Roman empire cannot crucify Jesus Christ unless that power is given to it by God (see Matthew 10:29; John 19:10-11). And what is true for the sparrow and for Jesus is true for you and me. No detail of your life is too insignificant for your heavenly Father's attention; no circumstance is so big that He cannot control it."
Jerry Bridges

Flying above the Pacific Ocean

"Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds."
Psalm 36:5

Looking up in the Capitol 

The California State Capitol
(It's way bigger than the White House - who knew?) 

This was my workspace for the afternoon.

The Crocker Art Museum
This was my first time at an art museum 

A painting by Renoir.

Inside the original Crocker mansion which is not part of the museum.

This "tree" was inside the Sacramento airport and was starting to light up as the sun went down. 

This was the most amazing view ever! 

Morning Stroll Through the Secret Garden

April 18, 2014

Do y'all remember this story from childhood?

I felt like I was there when I went running/walking this morning. 

I have today and Monday off of work and have packed the weekend full of plans with loved ones and while it should be a time to rest and relax I woke up charged and ready to go this morning and busted out my To Do list du jour. 

It seems that my life is dominated by To Do lists and this is of my own doing. 

Deep down inside, I realized, was an anxiety that I had to accomplish so much in a given period of time. 

Maybe I am used to the work environment where performance is a hot commodity. 

This isn't a bad thing but it can be if it becomes the ultimate thing. 

Before I went walking, I read this article which calmed my soul and encouraged me. 

I still wrote out my To Do list and continued my morning as usual. 

I spent time with Jesus and prayed that He would help me be disciplined in exercising. 

Then I realized that since I prayed for discipline in exercise, I would actually have to do it. 

So I did. 

This is the beauty I encountered on my run/walk. 

When I see such beauty, I think to myself, "My savior made this!"

And then I am reminded that in Christ, I am enough because He was the perfect sacrifice for my sins. 

I am not perfect but His death and resurrection mean that when God looks at me, a sinner, He sees the perfection of Christ in my place.